When my children were young and my days full of constant juggling I would take moment in the darkening and walk outside to look up at the stars and find myself wishing for balance.
Now though, I realize that over the over the years the definition of balance has changed. I have abandoned the desire to juggle, I no longer think of arranging things, distributing to dos , demands and desires into orderly rows. I no longer imagine apportioning my time into equally weighted bundles. Instead I think of balance as something that emanates from my own center.
Maybe its the influence of returning to yoga or just getting older but I realize when I stop, breathe and become aware of how I am standing or sitting, whether trying to do an asana in class or washing dishes at the sink things shift, when I’m centered, in balance, everything becomes easier. That is there is a sense of ease about the task at hand.
The inevitable disorder, pulls and spins, beyond my ability to catch, juggle or vanquish. I stand still the best I can, taking a breath and readjusting my stance, balancing from the inside out.